god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
