Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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