I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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