Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
