so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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