dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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