I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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