Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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