i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He better not be in your backpack
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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