You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
