If i come over, it means nothing
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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