I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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