we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
