Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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