meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
