youre lurking in front of me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
