Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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