My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
