I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
tell me about the fingering
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