Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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