I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
