He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
