Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just want to make out with him forever
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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