I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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