he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
