you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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