OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
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On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
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There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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