the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
