so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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