have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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