I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
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i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
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that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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