Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize