Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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