is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
