you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
