Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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