Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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