I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
