omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
