Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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