I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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