That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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