I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
