Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
