Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
