Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
