If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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