you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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