ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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