Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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