I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
