It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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