she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
