dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
