Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize