YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
