The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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