I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
