David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize