I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
