I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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