? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
