He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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